People say I’m a bitch, but I didn’t know that speaking the truth meant bitch. People say that in order to meet guys, I need to be a nicer person; meaning fake, no one is really “nice”. Do I really want a guy that can’t handle the truth?
There’s a huge difference between a strong woman who…
Always interests me how people who alienate others think it’s “just the way they are,” or they’re “just honest.” You can be a bitch if you look like Selena Gomez, but you’re still not living up to your potential as a person. If everyone thinks you’re a jerk, maybe it’s not that no one understands you, maybe you’re a jerk.
Of course I trust you to keep a giant metal machine in the air for two hours when you haven’t yet mastered the modest technology required to fix a roof leak in the airport of one of our nation’s rainiest cities.
Finally! I’ve been bemoaning the lack of comfortable footwear out there and I finally found the solution. You can use these for everyday wear or formal. You can dress them up or down. These may be the only pair of shoes you’ll ever need.
So, I recently directed a comedy video (*cough*PSA*cough*) starring Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green. The video’s goal is to raise awareness of the giant budget cuts Schwarzenegger wants to impose on California Schools. Say what you want about the video - you love it, you hate it - that’s not what I’m here to talk about.
The real reason I’m posting is to highlight this comment from FOD user, extra frenulum…
I refuse to believe that your son doesn’t go to private school. In fact, I’m gonna find out, and if he does, I’m gonna make a video and call you out on it. Nothing I hate worse than a soap-box-standing pseudo-celebrity that pretends to care about issues he knows nothing about.
If your son, in fact, does go to public school, I’ll apologize and send this video to everyone I know.”
Unfortunately, Brian’s son does indeed go to public school, so extra frenulumis going to have to make good on his promise and send this video to EVERYONE HE KNOWS! Why not just do a little research BEFORE you go on an insane rant?
Perfectly weathered (…and purchased that way) ball cap? CHECK! Boot cut Diesel jeans? Ch-Ch-Check it out! Flip Flops, the most unprotected unnecessarily dangerous footwear to ever consider wearing in an urban environment where broken class is as common as asphalt? YOU KNOW IT! So many douchy bases covered you’re like a gigantic douche blanket wrapping us in the mirth of your douchosity. But something is missing? What could be the one douche move that would seperate the man from the boy?
BOOM! Hell, I wouldn’t even have though of it! You hoisted that leg high onto the pole that is exclusively for people to hold for balance, like it was a keg of Natty Light back at the frat house. You whipped out your cell phone in a relaxed position and began to text “chicks” or “tail” or “bottoms” like the good ol’ days of college! All of us will be happy to climb around your gangly ass leg!
PUT THE LEG DOWN! PUT THE PHONE AWAY! AND GROW THE HELL UP!
*** I was a theatre nerd in college anyway. THANKS to my man Tim C. for dropping this pick in the Douche InBox! Keepin’ hope alive! Keep on Douchin’ ***
This will look so good in the garage of my Ferris Bueller house, where I can reenact the “turn-back-the-odometer” scene over and over at least once. But I’m going to have to sell my Full House house and my Twin Peaks house in order to afford it.